oh my saints... oh my stars

SO much to report, blogland. SO much to report.

First of all, in family news, mon frere, il a depart a L'Ecosse hier soir. C'est Dure!!!!! I miss him already even though we've gmail chatted three times today. Glasgow is putting its party hat on for him... slainte, brotha man! I'll be there soon, kilt on.

Second of all, in career news... I decided firmly that my non-acceptance to a certain verrrryyy prestigious magazine internship was a sign from the cosmos (a spiritual atheist's superstition) that I should, well, to quote what Astrophil (aka Sir Philip Sidney)'s muse said to him, "Fool, look in thy heart and write!"
So I bared my teeth. I applied up to tutor privileged youngsters, with a very professional, nice-seeming organization. I applied up to teach grammar on saturdays to underprivileged youngsters. I signed up to help my parenting magazine put out a teen issue (I'm to be the "deputy editor"), and I spent a butload of money (considering my current situation) enrolling in a fiction workshop to help speed my novel (now approaching 40 thousand words) towards something resembling completion. I vowed I would finish the book, because all these commitments together would still leave me time to write every morning.

And then I got a phone call offering me the original job. Apparently, I was the numero uno runner up.

I was excited, I was flattered...and, dear reader, I turned it down!

(Gnarls Barkley playing in background... does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazeee? Possibleee. [NB: I used to think this line was either "eyes so blue" or "eyes of blue", but I've been corrected]...)

Karmically, I just couldn't do it. It's not even as much about committing to the three jobs, although that matters, as it is what I promised to myself. I told myself fhat I would take my fiction, my dream, and massage it until ittoo, got rejected, and I settled into pragmatism--or I landed a contract and a movie deal, and people compared me negatively to Marisha Van Pessl and Curtis Sittenfeld, but teenage girls bought my books in droves and had crushes on my dreamy hero so I didn't care about the snotty reviewers.

So that's what I'm doing. And should that fail, I will re-apply to internshipland.
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Third of All, in Education News:

Completely shameless self-promotion: emails from a few students after hearing I've left teaching to try to write for magazines.

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Hi Ms. [Fellow-ette] How are you? I miss you so much. You are realy a good teacher.
I feel so bad when i hear you are not teach. Today when i waik through my english class i look in your class i so another teacher. This year my english teacher is Ms.[redacted]. I love you so much and i want to be in your class. I pass the math regents.

Your love [Student A, who is ESL]

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Hey ms.[fellow-ette],

I hope all goes well for you with the magazine. I was hoping that you
were going to return this year to teach juniors:) but i'll keep in touch though....
I actually have Mrs. [redacted] for english this year, she seems alright....
Once again, [very talkative student] happens to be in my class :( lol
Since Junior year is my most important year, im going to make it
my best year:) .........
well i guess i'll talk to you later,
[student B, who clearly got her elementary ed in the suburbs]

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good luck with your new job i hope you do very well with that career path
i will stay in touch
you are a wonderful teacher

[very succinct student C]

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damn, that's sad.... a great [school name] loss there is... good luck to u.... i'll see what u write on ur magazines..... hope that is no cosmo mag XD

[student D, who loves ellipses]

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ok thank you ms.[f] anyways good luck to you and yea i will and yea i am going to tell you everything hopefully everything goes fine, by the way is junior year hard?and take care much love.....[student E, who hates punctuation]

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first day:

it was cool untill it started to rain and I got my new sneakers wet.... me and [very hyperactive student] went to eat at wendies and we were cracking up on the old times.... ALSO he did some ghetto shit XD.... he went to get a metro card from the machine WITH COINS!.... a long line was made.... one coin fell... we made some people angry and the lady on the cabin was yelling at him with the MIC. it was FUNNEY!
Att: [student D again, reporting on first day of school]

PS: WE miss u and [very hyperactive student] says for u to write him

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it's amazing how these kids, who all hated me at times, let the good times supercede the bad in their memory! And so does their teacher (she tries, anyway).

Lastly, read