'Allo

Because I can "do" an effective-ish Irish and/or British accent, my students are convinced that I have something of the Britannic race in me. They don't understand the nuances of whiteness-- the fact that as a pasty, frizzy-haired russian jew, being a pasty, frizzy-haired irish lass is something I only achieve in my wildest, once-exploited-white-sublcass-hopping fantasies.

My sophomores have been struggling through Lord of the Flies. They find it incredibly boring. MY plan is to push our way up to page 100 this week and then possibly show them the movie immediately upon return from break to help catch them up/refresh their memories. I had them write the conflict between Jack and Ralph as a funny dialogue today, and some did an adorable job. "Yo, my n*gga, why you be chasin that pig all day when the fire's burning out. That's f*cked up," and etc. I amused them with my own composition, "LOTF goes to the OC," which included the memorable line: "Dude, hunting the pig is like totally uncool," and the overuse of such words as "awesome" and "bro". For some inexplicable reason, my kids thought this was the funniest thing they had ever seen.

In short, even after the insanity of the past two weeks, with pesudo-snow-and transit strike days throwing the school into chaos, dozens of fights outside my classroom, a bird apparently shitting in a corner of my room this weekend (I'm going into school armed with bleach spray) and a pool of blood in the hallway from a lucky punch, I'm feeling pretty alright about my job. My students have a charm, when i let them.

They also have horror stories, lurking behind their eyes. One student returned after two months in Juvenile hall, another came back from six weeks in Jamaica looking lost and traumatized. One girl finally let me overhear the story of how she watched her father get shot, another kid longs for Christmas in the DR so badly that I keep waiting to see the tears drop down his face.

And they keep coming into school, so that means I have to keep it up too. Even if I'm going to let this week be one of little accomplishment!

Working Class Hero

Tomorrow I'm doing a John Lennon lesson with my kids. I can't stop myself! We'll see how they take the obsecenity in "Working Class Hero". I kind of hope I get fired for it-- but of course, that would be sad.

Today was rough, if not terrible. My third period boys are still WILD, my freshman still chatty, my 6th period crew still chill. While some are bored and restless with Lord of the Flies, there's a small contingent of people who are wondering who's gonna die? One of my ESL kids, normally tired and disengaged, has really opened up about studying Lord of the Flies. I find that quite heartening, despite all the negativity fostered by his peers. Two more days to go til the weekend, and a trip up north to campus of yore provide a pleasant break.

memorable quotes from my students

"Miss, if anyone be touchin you I'm gonna have to go home and break out the ratchet cause you be my favorite teacher right now."

"Miss, your purple shoes is like two big plums. You need some black Nikes."

"Miss, when you take your picture for the yearbook, don't weat them glasses or you gonna break the lens."

"Miss, you hurt my feelings, I thought we was friends."
"Don't your friends tease you?"
"But it's different with you."

And my all time favorite,
"MISS, WHY YOU BEASTIN?"

A Long December

and it's only the first week. I have to say that I left school for Thanksgiving in absolute love with my students. They were polite, they cranked out seven paragraphs for me in one sitting, and they chatted enthusiastically. In short, we bonded.
The story this week has been far worse. I skipped school last Friday to take my GREs (they went so-so, incidentally) and found a gushing substitute on Monday. She said my kids were calm and kind. I was so happy Monay morning; if only such bliss had lasted.

While the behavior has been nothing to call the dean about, there has been zero listening and cooperating. Lord of the Flies, our latest book project, has thrown them for a loop. They want to read Zane and other romance novels. They can't stand all the description of the island that opens the book. So I've slowed down the pace and I'm going to utilize Sparknotes as best I can.

Oh, incidentally, the principal came into my classroom today just as one of my biggest ADHD punks had whipped out a cellphone. She and my AP (who has been friendlier lately) pulled him outside and gave him a stern-yet-gentle talking-to, while saving their head-shaking and scorn for the boy's frazzled teacher.

So by the transitive property of authorityness (in other words, shit flows downhill), I yelled at all three classes today. I just gave up on being kind/patient/understanding. It worked. But I have to not yell at them again for at least two weeks in order to save the power of yelling for when it's really needed.


13 instructional days and counting til Xmas...


Ms. S