Friday, March 31, 2006

Another Sunny Day

Late this afternoon (after spending hours upon hours recovering from the past five weeks) my boo and I made our way out to Brooklyn, Williamsburg to be precise, where we observed that we were not dirty or shaggy enough for the hipsters, but also that the neighborhood is in no way as gentrified as everyone claims... although there were enough trendy nightspots to make a New York City Teaching Fellow ponder schooling herself in the art of Re-building Tolerance.
New York City is really amazing-- the way neighborhood intermingle and build upon each other, totally different but never isolated. That, plus the sunny weather and the far away distance of certain dingy school hallways, made Fellow-ettes mood decidedly plus calme.

On a different note entirely, this blog now allows anonymous comments. So, even if you are not a) a savvy teacher-cum-blogger or b) a savvy-student-or-student-in-spirit-cum-blogger you can now post freely and leave your love and hate whenever you damn well please. Or not. I really don't care. Whatever. Seriously. It's up to you.
Okay?
Okay.

Labels:

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Oh oops again.

So my lesson was generously given an S after all that. I'm relieved. I'm taking tomorrow off to nurse a horribly stiff neck, a cold, and my mental health, and can't believe how guilty i feel at the prospect. My kids have been adorable this week... when I am full of love for them, my blogging becomes sparse.

Labels:

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

I HATE THE FASCIST BOARD OF ED

Quick Contacts

[Redacted]


Chat is
disabled.

Set status
here

Your network administrator has disabled chat in Gmail.


Labels:

Monday, March 27, 2006

Do the Right Thing... or not.


I am so tired of having to be moral all the time! Today went very well, as days go. But in trying to stop bullying (said attempt is my new whip with which to flagellate myself) I am encountering the obstinate lack of empathy of the Adolescent Male, over and over again. Oh, their moods, their nastiness. But at the end of the day, they are the ones I get along with. It's the women are so personally competitive with me...I just want to hold up a giant peace sign and sway all the time. But seriously, y'all. Today was good. My freshpeople love me. My sophomores' obnoxiousness is a natural product of their growth. etc.

This weekend was also hott. It's spring break up Nort', so I got to chill with the old gang, plus a super cool pair of middle school teachers (one, a Road Rules X-treme alum, the other, writer of the infamous "letter" and now under review for verbal insubordination, tru), Tony Soprano, and two delightful lasses, Margarita and M. Jane. That part was awesome!

12 instructional days to go til Spring Break!

Ms. Fellow-ette.

Labels:

Friday, March 24, 2006

Caught in the act!

Twenty minutes ago, fellow-ette and two of her fellow [ette] teachers as well as an entire class of sophomores were apprehended by our AP while watching the racial draft episode of the chapelle show, door open, students drifting in and out.

It was so worth it.

Apologeez, frantic.

Labels:

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Whooops, part deux (REVENGE)

incidentally:

this is the notice i got about my now-infamous obs:

"This week you will be observed by the Principal, Miss [redacted] and I."

Way to go, Grammar Boy!

The recent hiring good fortune of my significant other, who has followed his dream of writing about music doggedly, has made me wonder about my own psyche. Last year at this time, I thought I was on the brink of becoming a young, left-wing journo sensation. After a fracas involving my University Prez, my writing got, like, even more exposure that AGW! gets it now (self-deprecating wink). The obstacle to fulfilling my dream was my deep-seated discomfort of the idea of 1) working without a real salary and 2) on some level, what I perceived as selfishness of pursuing that career, which was not really selfishness but 3) the fear of exposing my most treasured talent and enjoyed activity to the harsh criticism of the real world.

And so here I am, unsatisfactory and unsatisfied. The kinds of validation I used to get were fan emails from readers of the campus rag, grad students marvelling at my prose (but chastising me for those typos), and the infinite satisfaction of putting the closing phrase on a piece of my writing, a piece of me.
Now, my validation comes in the form of a student peeking his head around the door and making me guess who he is, the smiles of the students --mostly immigrants who suffer daily at my school--whom I praised tonight in front of their parents, reading my students' lovely autobiographies of characters we read (even though they were not time-managed properly) and making at least one true, genuine friend and several other warm connections. But wonderful as it all is, I remain restless. I need something more--official. If one administrator would say to me "yeah, you need a lot of work, but we're so glad to have you here and we value you" all my thoughts of quitting just might waver. But instead it's "it will get better next year" as if my being there next year is this given. I just wish I felt as needed as I know I am. But "enough, no more," as Orisno would say. The hardest part of my year is over. I don't know it, but I will it.

Peace to the homies, the lovers, the friends.

Labels:

WHOOPS.

Turns out I got a U because of my poor time managment. As if that's EVER going to change.

Labels:

Whew # 2.

halfway done. today was definitely the day from hell--less bad than marathonish. a surprise visit from my principal and AP, another visit from the literacy coach and a prospective teacher or someone i didn't know, a headache, standoffish 6th period students, and oh my god. I can barely face the thought of the night to come. But at least it's over-- my last formal observation. Unless they come again.

Now off to applebees with my fellow fellow-ettes.

Labels:

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Chuck D is a golden god

why does no one listen to the political celebrities? I just tuned in to a song called "Bin Laden" which features the refrain:

bin laden didnt blow up the projects
it was you nigga
it was you nigga

(the you of course, being George W. Bush).

It also includes lyrics about how black and latino youth get the worst education. This of course me feel like a failure-- even though I know it's ridiculous for me to expect to make more than a miniscule dent in the system. After two days chock full of incidents including students cursing out my AP, accusing me of snitching, pulling lighters out and singeing each others braids, and whipping out cellphones out to plan fights, oh yeah and generally bullying each other so much I can't stand it, I hope my idealism/righteous indignation is not irreperably lost. I admit to having all the negative thoughts I forbade myself from entertaining at the beginning of the year.

So here's the schedule for the week:

Tomorrow: Dinner for grandma's 91st! (mazel tov grandma)
Thursday: Observation and p-t-conferences-- aka hell day.
Friday: p-t-conferences...

weekend: HALLELUJAH.

Someone please post a comment. My blog is getting looonely!



Sunday, March 19, 2006

Sunday Morning

As always, I wake up totally wired, the polar opposite of how I'll be come Thursday night, when I collapse in exhaustion. On my mind this morning is the pesky regents. After a disastrous regents practice sesion on Thursday in which half of my students stared at the language as though it were chinese and then quietly gave up, I was feeling so down on myself, them, the school and the system that I needed a reality check. But after a day lying in bed because of a migraine yesterday, I've put it in perspective. Seriously. I really have... whatever = )

First of all, the regents is too damn hard for at least half of my kids. They're not ready for it, and no amount of cajoling on my part is going to get them ready. So my plan has to be to find ways to target those students who are fuly capable of passing and those who are borderline, while continuing to engage the entire class on an appropriate level. Easy as pie! Not. But I need to be realistic. One idea I had was to give students a regnets task to take home every monday, make it due friday (or vice-versa) and know that the motivated students will do it on their own.
But enough thinking aloud. I'm looking forward to the week and hoping that the stretch towards spring break will slowly begin to seem less stretchy. It really is a long long long long long way to go...

Cool link:
Article about big v. small schools with interview that discusses teaching fellows, class sizes, etc.

Labels:

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

URBAN PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHERS GONE WILD!

I went wild today in response to the idiocy of my students. One of my students, irked that I hadn't given him a pass, (and while he was pretending to throw things to piss me off I said "Hey, you dropped off the baseball team [due to failing all your classes], so you really don't need to practice, do you?") drew a devilish picture on the board and labelled it "Ms. Fellow-ette." In response, I drew a bland smiley face with a talk bubble reading "I make my teacher cry" and put his name on it, and then visibly cracked myself up... childish but satisfying. At least, my fan club in the class loved it.

Later, another student wrote an equation on the board: "Shaniqua + Britanya = a ton". I responded with "Prince's brain + a ton = a ton." The students, puzzled, looked at the equation. "Ohhh.... we get it, so you're saying..."

Anyhooch.
So maybe I'm stooping too low, but sometimes the little buggers need it!

Now, to make like Laura Bush (hisss) I'm going to make a list of recommended reading. Here are the books I've read since enrolling as an NYC TF:

"Classics"

David Copperfield by Chazz Dickens
Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
Cousin Henry by Tony Trollope

"Adult Contemporary"

Light on Snow by Anita Shreve
White Oleander by Janet Fitch
Bel Canto by Ann Patchett
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
The Autobiography of My Mother by Jamaica Kincaid

"Urban Themes"

Shame of A Nation by Jonathan Kozol
A Hope in the Unseen by Ron Suskind
Down These Mean Streets by Piri Thomas


The purpose of this list is to pat myself on the back.

Labels:

Monday, March 13, 2006

Trapped in the Closet

Today in order to teach parody in prep for Mark Twain, I played the snl spoof of "R. Kelly's' Trapped in the Closet" for my freshpeople. Were they amused? Yes... but did they get the concept of satire/parody? Not sure. I'll have to reinforce it tomorrow...

Today was pretty good. The light staying lighter, the year winding down, the weather and the advent of Piri Thomas (Ms. Fellowette cursing in front of her students!) are all good. What's bad? The meanness they exhibit towards each other. I remember how intense my hates were in high school-- so much so that I could barely be cordial to an old classmate I ran into recently-- but it's hard, when one is in one's twenties and tryin' to be positive and sh*t about people, to be around the hormonal, psuedo-racist animosity of teenagers.

On with the slow March (get it? it's a pun) towards St. Paddy's day and the first day of spring...

I'm already eating marshmallow peeps.

Labels:

It's Monday Morning

...still reeling from last night's "Sopranos"...

This message is to the many of you who have gotten here with a google or msn search for "Teachers Gone Wild," "Girls Gone Wild" or the simple "Gone Wild."

You people make me sick.

I''m approaching the week with a positive attitude again, or at least trying. Piri Thomas, redeem me...

Labels:

Friday, March 10, 2006

I reminisce...

LAst night fellow-ette had a date with a hot Russian Blonde. It had been three years since she and I met each other while wandering the French Alps, each solo at first, brought together by fate and the mystical aura of the mountains. Over expensive beer and gourmet salads at Cafe Lalo, we recollected those adventures swimming in the Turquoise Lac D'Annecy, taking unexpected car trips with sexy Grenoblese guitar players (her) and soccer-mad Brazilians (me), hanging out with Mike the busker on the job, encountering each other in a room full of wooden skis, and Betsy, the folk-singing Vegan who never emails. Not to mention the gondola rides.

This lovely evening reminded me that not so long ago, I did some really cool sh*t. And I'd like to do stuff like that again sooner, rather than later. Meanwhile, here I am in my smelly classroom, deprived of both sleep and adrenaline. This week has been better though-- my "Zen in the midst of chaos" philosophy is working well.

Meanwhile, in my Literacy grad school class, we continue to agree that cultural empathy and understanding are positive, but too much emphasis on cultural differences is not. Heatedly. Angrily. Ventily.

That is all.


Shoutout to a certain up-and-coming music journalist who hobnobbed with the band last night. Much love!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Call Brad Pitt/Edward Norton



With the advent of balmy weather, the students have let the warmth go to their heads. In the past three days, there was a massive arrest of six students from my school, multiple fights (including one in which a new student of mine was jumped with my bathroom pass in hand-- it was later returned to me, sigh). The jumpiness, jitteriness, love-bugginess, rudeness, threats, "playing the dozens" and spazzing out is reaching epic proportions. Miss Fellowette has, according to her students, "gone black" which means I've gotten meaner and tougher, but somehow it hasn't calmed things down. I sense a breaking point nearing, which means to me either a movie or an art project...

I am reading Down These Mean Streets, by Piri Thomas, hoping to do it with the chil'n next week, looking forward to the stability of a novel and the novelty of reading a "Ghetto" story that nonetheless has beautiful language, interesting themes, clear metaphors, etc.

Now, off to dinner with my delightful east side grandmother.

Labels:

Monday, March 06, 2006

WERD.

So Much To Say...

Let's start with a bit of humor relating to the primary, oft-digressed from, subject of this blog:



hahahah. It's like that whole is ebonics a language debate. hahaha.

Next, I am going to cop a Stephen Colbert:

ON NOTICE:

My 6th/7th period class
The Academy
My boyfriend's Greek midterm
Reese Witherspoon
Professional Development

DEAD TO ME:
The state of Iowa
Summer internships at NY newspapers
Teach for America
Ebert and Roeper
Harvard Parents
The new UFT contract w/Circular 6R

REBORN TO ME
George Clooney
My freshman class
White people rapping
More white people rapping...
And still more...


Today's PD focused on bullying. The assembled english teachers decided that:

Our students bully each other.
We bully our students.
Our students bully us.
The adminstration bullies us and each other.
Etc, etc, etc...

It was enlightening. Not.

Anyhooch... My Monday was good, comme toujours. Still trying to work out the kinks with my former stars in the 6th/7th period slot... still trying to keep myself from passing out at the end of every day... but as Dolly Parton crooned last night, "I'm just travellin, travellin, travellin, I'm just travellin through."

Friday, March 03, 2006

Whew!

Today was much, much better...

Labels:

Thursday, March 02, 2006

A profound thought from a classmate...

who pointed out that neither those educated in suburbia/prepschools NOR those in the inner city appreciate and value education...until we have seen how the other half is educated.

It's an amazing, heartbreaking truth.

On the edge...

I wish I had triumphs to report, but not today. I am so exhausted that today I skipped my fecking ridiculous locker room circular 6R and sat in my room, staring at the information i had conjured up on my screen about withdrawing from NYCTF/ flunking out of grad school. It's funny that all my serious thoughts about quitting should come up now, after I've made it through 2/3 of the year, three of my four observations have been "S" and I have not called a dean into my room since the third week of school (but I should have so many times). And yet here I am, teetering on the brink. Not sure whether it's the extra hour in the afternoons, the indignity of locker room duty, the fact that several of my brightest students have become a nuisance, the return of bitter cold, or the fact that vacation reminded me what life is like when your day isn't a battle that begins at 6:30 a.m and doesn't end until you collapse in the late afternoon.

Do I sound cheerful enough? Sorry to bitch and moan... my grad school class has been surprisingly good for morale; a bunch of frustrated, angry, first-year teachers on the verge of giving up all together, cursing loudly, reveling in our bewilderment. I always leave feeling a little better.

so now that I've expostulated, here's a rundown of good/better/interesting occurrences:

*word on the street is that a huge number of veteran teachers are peacing from my HS.
*Several of my students responded excellently to today's essay prompt about Langston Hughes' poems.
*I saw Stephen Colbert last night last night. He was super hot and amazing! Thanks, pastyrussian.
*I dig the new pics on the facebook.(Who's the better linksman now, Spot-shaker?)
*My frosh are super cute. One of them , "J" as he likes to be called, reminded me of how angry I used to be with them all the time. I have to figure out what worked with them, what turned that crazy class into my mellowest, that I need to do with my sophomores, who have taken the opposite trajectory.


Looking forward to a weekend with the loved ones, fo sho.

/fellow-ette.

Labels:

altruism gone wild.
Add to Technorati Favorites